


Fucking with Portals

by ooa113y



Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Anal Sex, F/F, Lesbian Sex, Oral Sex, Prostitution, Public Nudity, Public Sex, Sex Toys, Sex Work, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ooa113y/pseuds/ooa113y
Summary: Gaap has some fun by teleporting (parts of) Beato around.
Relationships: Beatrice the Golden Witch/Gaap
Kudos: 3





	Fucking with Portals

Beato was walking from "Devilish Pretty", humming a cheery song to herself. She had just bought some of the cutest dresses ever and a few sexy lingerie sets to go with them, and she couldn't wait to show it off to her friends back in Purgatorio. However, it was a long way back home. Not only is the mall where the clothing store was located massive by itself, spanning multiple dimensions and requiring internal transport to navigate properly, it was also just far away from the place Beato lived in general. She'd probably have to grab a cab, and those were annoyingly expensive nowadays, not to mention still slow with how clogged up the dimensional bridges were with traffic. It was also obviously too far away for her usual butterfly mode of transportation.

Keeping all this in mind, Beato decided to simply look around the mall. She didn't intend any more purchases outside of maybe stopping somewhere to eat, but there were a lot of fun attractions here. They ranged from simple stuff like arcade machines, skating rinks and swimming pools to stuff that offered full experiences in parallel realities handcrafted specifically for the customer. Because this was the middle of Hell, of course, all of these were fairly shameless. So much violence and sex would probably get this whole place closed down in minutes in the Human world — how truly boring those people are.

Looking over what's new, Beato did find a bunch of things she's never seen before. "The biggest dildo ever", a fairly famous attraction, somehow managed to get even bigger — something that only ever happened when someone managed to take the whole thing, and Beato shuddered at the idea of someone being able to fit five meters of cock inside them. "Murder Floor", that used to be a simple wooden stage for people to fight and kill each other, now had actual weaponry around, and the setting itself was changed to that of a randomized maze, making the experience more sophisticated. Besides the old water pool that was still present, cum and blood pools were added, a suggestion Beato herself has lodged with the mall administration a while ago, since she thought water was too boring and did nothing for the "demonic" image of the mall that it tried so hard to keep up. A lot of the fountains in the place were already styled as bleeding people, and a few were shaped as dicks and pussies, so that's where she got that idea. It seems those were updated as well, with the real liquids flowing out of them now.

Beato's eyes stopped on an attraction that was ridiculously simple. She stopped because of the advertisement above it and not so much because of the attraction itself. See, demonic advertisement laws required that any functional aspects of the ads — what the product can do, what the ingredients are, how it compares to others, etc — were truthful, to the extent that they must be written in red. As such, exaggerated claims such as "the best", "the biggest", "the most delicious" (and on the inverse, you could hardly get away with claiming you were "the worst" if you weren't) and such others would either be written in a non-special colour so that they could be seen as the flair they were, or have a thousand footnotes follow along with them if that aspect actually mattered for the product marketing.

However, this thing read " **Hell's most realistic** onahole", which seemed to follow rules directly inverse to those Beato knew. Exaggerated claim in red, basic description in black? Something was off, but you couldn't lie with the red, so it was the most realistic "something", and looking over at the device itself, it clearly was an onahole alright. It imitated the section of a female body from the waist down until the start of the legs, bent over so that the ass and pussy would stick out, and locked to the wall.

Beato shrugged and figured she'd give it a try. She grew her dick and approached the attraction. She noticed that it was rather heavily used, with cum covering the whole thing and leaking from both holes already. Such popularity was a good sign, though, so she happily went up to the nearby clerk and asked for the price.

"Three hundred liters", she replied helpfully. The standard demon currency was blood, though other bodily fluids were possible to exchange for it, the rates were too ridiculous for it to actually be useful.

"Three hundreeeeed? How can it be that cheap?", Beato exclaimed, having spent several thousand on clothes alone.

"The attraction is very popular, Madam. We find that we earn the most money by having a lot of clients, and the demand most certainly is there."

"Ah… I see. Well, here you go." Beato said as she swiped her blood bank card. Hearing the cheerful confirmation tune, the clerk nodded and left Beato to her business.

Beato didn’t think too long about picking a hole. She figured the pussy would probably be better developed and paid more attention to, so instead she wanted to focus on the ass, because she had serious doubts that it would be a high-quality one. However, when she stuck her dick in, she was quite shocked. The quality was exquisite. The texture felt right, the grip of the hole on her dick was accurate, and the insides even convulsed a little now and again to add to the realism of the thing. “Woah.” Beato couldn’t help but exclaim. She proceeded to move inside this interesting toy, seeing if she could find any obvious signs it was indeed fake. By the time she came, she couldn’t find any such signs, so she moved on to the pussy. She didn’t feel anything wrong here either, and the quality was just as high as that of the ass — not significantly better. That was a good thing, though.

Beato was satisfied. She turned to the clerk to pay for the second use that she didn’t originally plan. After payment, the clerk turned to her. “Excuse me, Madam, but would you please answer a few questions about your experience with the product? It will only take a couple minutes. We’re always looking to improve.”

Beato hated these with all her soul, much like anyone else, but considering how good a mood the product in question left her in, she conceded. “Eh, sure. Why the hell not.”

“Alright, thank you Madam. So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you enjoy your experience?”

“Ehh… I’ll give it a 7. It was great, don’t misunderstand, but… it’s a bit worn out by now. And sharing holes with other people is a lot of fun, right? That’s the whole appeal of attractions like these. However, you have to keep a balance… this needs to be cleaned more often. Actual design, though? Amazing.”

“We do clean it hourly.” the sales clerk blushed. “This is just how popular it is. And shutting it down more than once an hour would basically give people no time with it in the first place.”

“W… all this from an hour of use!?”

“Yeah. Hahaha”, she laughed awkwardly then cleared her throat. “Anyway. Next question. Again, rate your experience on a scale of 1 to 10, but this time consider sex with other living creatures as part of your response, and not just sex toys.”

“Oh. Well. That’s a 5 at best. The holes are great… but they’re just holes, you know? It doesn’t move, it doesn’t adjust poses, it doesn’t moan and doesn’t call your name. It doesn’t cum when you do.”

“Huh, strange. This actually does have an orgasm feature that’s supposed to activate at a random time. I guess you didn’t hit it, or maybe it broke after such heavy use. I’ll have to inspect that. We were considering adding a moaning feature, as well as a mouth, as well. If you consider this information, would that change your rating?”

“Well… maybe I’d give it a 6, then. But I’d have to try first.”

“Thank you. Please rate each individual hole, in the context of this being a sex toy.”

“Ass is a ten. Pussy is a nine. Again, just cause it’s worn out.”

“Understood. Just a couple more things. Would you say this was the most realistic sex toy of its kind you ever experienced? And would you say it was the best?”

“I guess yeah, to both. Replace it with a fresh one and it’ll probably be tens across the board, seriously. As a matter of fact, you know what? I’ll try it out again when it’s fresh and give you my ratings again.”

“We generally don’t accept responses from the same person more than once, however, we do appreciate your praise, even if it isn’t reflected numerically. It is still recorded and heavily considered by our team.”

“Ah, alright. Good to know, I am thankful for that at least. Raw numbers hardly ever tell the whole story, do they? Man, that’s why I hate math. Anyway… is there more?”

“For this next question, we have to inform you that we base our products on real models, as such, we are always on the lookout for better vaginas and anuses to use for our work. We also must inform you that this question is optional to answer, since you may be unwilling to share such information, and your survey will remain valid if the field is left blank. With that out of the way, the question is as follows: please name the person you had sex with that has the best holes, in your opinion. If those are separate people, please provide the names of all of them, one per hole.”

“Ah, hm… well, you know, I fucked a lot of people, but as far as personal experience goes, my own are the best, you see. Hardly anything beats being in full control of both sides.”

“While an unusual response, it is a valid one nonetheless. Please put down your own name and contact details, then. We will contact the person specified if modelling opportunities arise. However, since you are already here, we can knock step one out right away: would you consent to being a model, if you got the offer?”

“Yeah, sure!” Beato nodded happily.

“Alright. Thank you, Madam. We hope you have a pleasant night, and to see you again!”

“See ya!” Beato left the attraction area with a smile, heading home. This was a very pleasant experience overall and she was somewhat looking forward to trying it again.

As she got home, Beato noticed an unexpected guest hanging around — though not an unwelcome one. That ridiculously slutty dress, anyone could recognise it. “Gaap!” Beato smiled. “How are you doing? Long time no see!”

“Hey, Riiche! Decided to pay a visit. Doing well. Hooh, I see you’ve been shopping. Whatcha get?”

“Clothes, mostly. Just some fancy lingerie and dresses. Plus some sightseeing, I guess you could say. You wouldn’t believe the kinds of things they have in the mall nowadays.”

“Oh, but I would. I go there often enough myself. Hey, mind if I come in?”

“Oh, right, of course, sure. Please do come in.”

“Thank you. Make me some tea, darling, if you don’t mind?”

“You truly have gotten friendly with me, haven’t you? Lowly furniture asking a witch for tea. Well, that’s all fine. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable.”

“Hehe. You do get pouty. You know I wouldn’t act like this if I was serving you in official capacity. Please separate friendships and business, will you?” Gaap rambled on as she sat down on the sofa. She took out her tablet — or a device similar to one — that’s the best human word to describe it anyway. She got busy reviewing some sort of document or other. Flicking through a list with names, pictures, green and red buttons beside each such set. An annoyed look rose up on her face as she consecutively tapped multiple red buttons over and over, but then an incredibly evil grin replaced it, and she tapped a green one. Satisfied, she shut the device off, just as Beato approached, put the tea set down, and sat down across from her.

The two drank and talked for a while. Beato talked about the game boards she spun without Gaap’s presence, and Gaap showed some interesting tricks that could make them much more fun. Gaap told Beato about the other masters she had to serve while Beato wasn’t using her and about the differences in expectations between each, as well as the general feel of the work. According to her, the worst witch she ever had to serve was some girl called Yukari, because she was “just a boring rip-off”, whatever that meant.

Finishing off her last cup, Beato got up. “You can wait here, I’m going to go change into something new and show off a bit, alright?”

Showing new clothes to each other was a passion of theirs. Gaap always ended up with the most visibly lewd things, while Beato was more on the sophisticated erotica side of things, but both did enjoy how sexy and beautiful the other looked in whatever new outfit they ended up picking. Gaap smiled, nodded, and went back to her tablet thingy when Beato left for her closet.

“Transfer 95% complete.”

Gaap wondered whether Beato would be fast enough, but she didn’t have to wonder for long. The bar filled, a cute noise played, and Beato ran out of the room, naked and screaming. “Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!! Gapgapgap!!! What the hell did you do?!”

“Whaaat? You signed up for it, didn’t you?”

“Signed up for what?! Ahhnnn…. What the hell did you do, seriously?” Beato moaned, because she felt someone’s dick suddenly enter her vagina. The vagina itself was nowhere to be seen, though, and neither was her ass — that entire section of the body was missing somehow.

“Come on, Riiche. Try to remember. You gave consent for this.”

“Ahh… do you mean… no way, do you mean the fucking sex toy?!”

“Yuuuuuuuuup! There you go, finally figured it out. Congrats, you passed the casting test.”

“Well…” Beato sighed and lowered herself onto the chair again. She wasn’t particularly sure how sitting would work now, but it did. “I suppose I should have figured it out. You run that one, then?”

“Yeah. Great idea, isn’t it? Put some portals in sexy babes and you’re set for life! Oh, and don’t worry, you do get a cut, of course. 30 percent of the income. Doesn’t sound like much, but do trust me, your ten tons of gold will pale in comparison to how much you’ll earn here.”

“H...huh. Alright then. Mmmh… Geez, there’s no way I’m falling asleep like this.”

“Well, the mall is closed at night, so don’t worry. Trust me, it’s not as hard as it seems. Just dicks inside you now and again.”

“Yeah, that sounds just fine. Mmmh… gonna cum!” Beato moaned out. She was sure she covered someone’s cock in her juices just now, but she felt bad about not being able to see it. “Ahhh.... fuck, this is gonna be fun.”

“Glad you’re taking it in stride, Riiche. Some girls start complaining the moment they figure out how the job actually works, or shortly afterwards. You seem to be doing muuuch better.” Gaap clapped her hands in satisfaction.

She then approached Beato and gave her right nipple a twist. “Fun or not, it doesn’t change the fact that you can have some fun here still, as well.”

“Ahh… you’re right, dear.” Beato moaned both from the cocks inside her (there were two now, or maybe even more? How can there be more? Some people…) and from Gaap’s nipple grab. She reciprocated the latter, reaching inside from the side of Gaap’s dress. At this point, the cocks exited Beato’s holes (for a short while, at least). She felt the cum dripping down her thighs, and even saw it once it reached far enough down to touch the area of her legs that still remained on her body. Using the moment of stability to take the initiative, she moved the tea table away and pushed Gaap down onto her sofa, stripping her out of her dress in one simple movement while she was at it.

Suddenly, Beato’s holes felt a tongue on them, gently licking up what was inside. “H...huh.” Beato said, with a confused look on her face. “Ah, the cleaning crew.” Gaap explained. 

Beato stared on in shock. “Why can’t they just use a towel or something?”

“Eh, gotta clean it deep, you know? You can’t do a perfect clean if you only touch the outside, and do you honestly, really want a towel or some other device inside yourself?”

Beato shrugged. “Guess not. Well, this does give me an idea, though.”

She reached down to Gaap’s vag and slid her tongue inside. With her hands, she continued rubbing both of Gaap’s boobs. Gaap moaned and smiled down at Beato. Beato herself didn’t need any extra stimulation, the tongues inside her pussy and ass were doing the job nicely enough. She got more intense with the licking, trying to replicate the movements that the cleaners’ tongues were doing inside her vagina on Gaap’s. She got so into it that she let go of Gaap’s breasts and focused entirely on the vag, rubbing her clit as well. Beato worked on this for a while, reaching another orgasm herself, and felt Gaap’s juices flowing down her throat eventually.

However, once she looked up at Gaap’s face, she saw a disinterested look, and Gaap was back playing with her breasts idly. “This… isn’t your vag, is it.” Beato pouted.

“Nooope. Why would I keep my own on me? It’s not safe, darling.” Gaap laughed. “Seriously now.”

“Whose is this, then?” Beato said, curiously, though still pouting that her efforts were in vain.

“I don’t even know. Have it set up to grab a random one every five minutes or so. Could have been anyone’s. Let me check the logs for this thing…” — Gaap lazily reached for her tablet — “Ah, seems to be Lia. Heh, that’s fun. Hope you enjoyed licking your teacher to orgasm!”

“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!!” Beato broke out in a blush. It would be a lie to say she never thought of doing this to Virgilia, but it’s also one of the few things she was too ashamed to ever actually try. Internally, she was somewhat thankful, but externally, she looked like someone was boiling her. It took her around five minutes to calm down, after which she looked at Gaap and insistently shouted. “Your pussy! In my mouth! Now! Annnhhhh!”

That last part was Beato cumming from someone shoving a finger inside her. Gaap grinned at her. “Alright, as you command!”

“Wait, ah, not like —” Beato couldn’t finish the sentence and grew completely silent all of a sudden. Well, there was no surprise, her mouth got replaced with Gaap’s vagina, exactly as she requested (though not as she actually wanted). Gaap spent a while laughing.

Where was Beato’s mouth? She wondered about it herself, but she noticed it soon enough. Sure, there it was, right between Gaap’s goddamn sexy legs. It was oriented vertically, which looked strange, but it seems like the portal appropriately rotated Beato’s usual mouth movements so she was still in control. Gaap gave her some time to orient herself with the new set-up, lowered herself on top of Beato’s face, then positioned a pillow in the missing area between Beato’s legs and laid down on it, resulting in something that looked like a 69 at a glance but sure as hell was anything but.

Beato got to licking. Being unable to see where she’s licking was annoying, and not having the standard frame of the legs holding the vagina she was licking confused her even more, but she couldn’t say the experience wasn’t enjoyable. Gaap finally moaned out properly. Beato figured she was sensitive, given that she seemed to not use her own vag very much. Following nothing but the taste and shape, Beato managed to locate Gaap’s clit and started making circles around it with her tongue, at first slowly and then going ever faster. Gaap moved her legs around in rhythm with Beato’s tongue, raising and lowering them, which added to her experience. Beato herself moaned from being fingered, dicked and licked by her clients, but those moans came out from between Gaap’s legs, which weirded her out, so she decided to try holding them back. It was difficult for her, though, and a few would still come out now and again, not to mention the laboured breathing. At last, Beato managed to lick Gaap to orgasm. Just as she was about to cum, Gaap raised her legs, causing all the juices to spill down from Beato’s “mouth” onto her body, as if she was drooling. 

Just as it was about to finish, the “drool” suddenly got much more intense instead of stopping, and got mixed with random chunks of cum. In surprise, Beato reached for it, and understood what happened once she felt the touch. Gaap has managed to cleverly swap Beato’s own vagina in. Was Gaap’s vag the one the clients had now? It sure seemed that way, looking at Gaap’s flustered and moaning face. Beato herself felt nothing inside her pussy now, so that was the final confirmation she needed. Her ass was still getting pounded quite heavily, though, so she moaned along with Gaap, and the two smiled at each other. Well, Gaap couldn’t see Beato’s smile from between her own legs, but still.

Leaving Beato’s mouth where it was for now, Gaap went and grabbed a dildo. Well, it looked like a dildo, but it was someone’s cock. Beato had no idea whose, so she asked. Hearing her own voice come out from between someone else’s legs still weirded her out. 

“Well, you’ll just have to read the character tags to find out. When this is published, that is.” Gaap said with a smug look on her face.

“Hey, that’s not fair! I wanna know whose dick is fucking me!”

“Babe, you were just fucked by like, 50 different dicks, none of them belonging to anyone you know. You probably still are, in your butt, right? Mm… Ahh. One more should hardly make a difference.”

“I suppose so, though it does worry me that you’re hiding it —- bwah!?”

Gaap decided to put on some panties. The fabric got into Beato’s mouth, and she couldn’t say coherent words anymore. She did, however, feel the very familiar taste of juices that she was licking just before, so she realised these actually were Gaap’s panties — she never wore any, so she must have put them on exclusively for Beato’s sake — and she started licking the juices up.

Gaap brought the dick she was holding to Beato’s face and slid it into her pussy. Beato felt the juices leak down her body and moaned from the sensation of the cock sliding in and out of her vag, while simultaneously being face-fucked by it. The ever-changing dicks inside her ass did help, too. Her mouth was too busy licking Gaap’s panties to moan, so she remained quiet, but despite that she was turned on and having a ton of fun. The cock was deep inside her, making circles around her vagina, clearly shivering from pleasure. Beato’s vag itself started pulsing in rhythm with the cock’s movements, and eventually she came, together with the cock, releasing another load of drool and cum down her body. 

Gaap pulled the cock away and hid it in a drawer, and, after reaching orgasm herself from the client’s cock in her pussy, brought Beato’s bits and pieces back to where they all belonged — her mouth was back on her face, and her pussy was back at the mall, immediately getting fucked by another dick, just where it would be for the rest of the day — or the next hundred years, if Beato wished. Gaap’s own pussy was once again stored away somewhere, and the randomizer gave her another vag to wear. She pulled the panties off, packed them away in the same place she hid the dick, and turned to Beato. 

“So. More tea? I’m offering this time.”

“Ahhnnn… Yeah… Sure.”


End file.
